Friday never comes fast enough

It's been a rough week for me with work stress and my cat's sickness.  I'm so glad it's Friday and I have a weekend in front of me.  My best friend and her husband and child are coming into town for the afternoon tomorrow, and I really can't wait.  They're such wonderful people.

I'm pretty happy with myself actually, this week.  I tend to eat terribly when I'm stressed or in a bad mood, and I've managed to curb that to some degree this week.  I wouldn't say it's been a stellar week, but I've been pretty good.

I'm looking at my goal this way.  I would like to be losing 1 1/2 lbs per week.  That's 5400 calories per week that I need to either not eat, or burn extra.  I'm going to the gym a minimum of 4 times per week, and burning about 500 calories a session.  That takes me down to 3400.  Divided by 7 days, that means I need to figure out how to remove 500 calories from my daily routine.  I'm definitely eating lighter lunches, wraps instead of sandwiches, fruit instead of chips, soups and salads as regular options.  I feel I'm adding more veggies to my dinner choices, and I'm definitely snacking a LOT less, and healthier when I do.  Being that rice cakes and fruit are my regular snack, that definitely trumps Snickers and Kit Kat.  Hopefully these changes will yield the kind of results I'm hoping for.

Exercise:
20m treadmill- 5m walking warm up, 15m, 1.5 mile run
20m elliptical

Breakfast-
Protein shake w/ water (GROSS!)

Snack-
Orange

Lunch-

Dinner-

Cold out

I wonder if I'm making a wise decision to lose weight when it's getting so flipping cold outside.  Fat creates heat.  Skinny people must be freezing, because I"m lightly padded and I'm already always cold.

Worked maybe a little too hard at the gym this morning.  Not sure I'll be able to lift my arms over my head by tomorrow morning, but that's the way it goes.

Exercise-
60 m circuit training-  squats, leg curls, pull ups, push ups, step ups etc.

Breakfast-
Protein shake made w/ half skim milk, half water (ran out of milk!)

Lunch-
Small sweet potato soup
1/2 of small black lentil salad

Snack-
Quakes rice cakes

Dinner-
1 1/2 small pieces quiche
salad greens with balsamic vinegar
iced tea
small serving vanilla/coffee ice cream

My Awesome Job

I love my job.  And I mean the kind of love that makes you want to poke your eyes out with a hot poker, while simultaneously disemboweling yourself with a rusty, dull butterknife.

What I really love is actually people who cover their own ass no matter what.  A co-worker today felt that I had gone about a process in the wrong order.  Rather than simply mention it to me, this co-worker went to her boss, who called me and ripped into me.  Then, she emailed me, and cc'd my VP, to tell me AGAIN what she felt I had done wrong, and how I was to proceed going forward.  And what I'd done in the first place was done to save her team some extra work.

Honestly, I just don't make enough money to put up with that sort of crap.  I haven't had a raise in 3 years.  Yeah, I know, I have a job, it's a bad economy, I should be thankful, but I have a little trouble with all that when I'm getting nasty emails sent over my head.

Anyway, tonight's dinner will most likely be capped off with a large glass of wine, which may not be great, but is mentally needed. I did run this morning, maybe I'll just wipe out my exercise calories in wine.

Exercise-
50m treadmill- combo walking, incline walking and sprints

Breakfast-
Protein Shake w/ skim milk

Snack-
Apple
1/2 chocolate chip cookie

Lunch-
Lean Cuisine Penne & Chicken meal (330 calories)
fun size dark chocolate kit kat

Dinner-
2 slices veggie pizza
1 LARGE glass white wine

Dessert-
bowl special K red berries w/ skim milk

Cone of Shame

It's been an extremely challenging day.  My kitty managed to get to the wound she has, and basically licked it open.  She bled all over my bed, and made a mess in the apartment.  I basically locked the two of us in the bathroom until the vet opened, so that she would only bleed on tile, where I could easily clean up.   We have since been to the vet,  she now has a shaved tail around the wound, meds, and a shiny new, clear cone of shame.  Her balance is a little off because of it, and it's sad and funny all in one.

Its been a stressful day.  I haven't eaten all that well, although I tried to keep it from totally being a scratch toward the end.


Exercise:
Walking
Toting cat round in carrier
STRESS

Breakfast-
Special K red berries w/ skim milk

Lunch-
1 sleeve of ritz crackers
hummus to match

Snack-
Apple
1/2 bag Smart Pop

Dinner-
Baked potato w/ i can't believe it's not butter

Football Challenge

So yesterday was the first time I've gone to watch football since starting this new drive.  I'm VERY proud of myself, as you can see below. I had a nice, protein filled brunch, and then didn't eat again until dinner.

I'm also happy to say, that while I didn't quite lose what I wanted the first week, i came close.  It makes me feel like I can do this!  alread up and at the gym this morning, which makes me feel good.

In other news, my cat has a wound that she just can't seem to leave alone.  I've had to put her in a cone of shame.  She did really well the first day, but this morning has figured out how to get to the wound, so i think she's going to get just a little bigger cone tonight. Bad kitty.  It's sad and funny all in the same bunch.  I feel like a bad cat mommy, even though I know it's really for the best.

Sunday-
Exercise-
walking
Brunch-
steak and eggs
1/2 portion home fries
Football-
2 beers
2 cookies (one to try, one celebratory after our win)
Dinner-
baked potato w/ broccoli and cheddar cheese (light on the cheese)

Monday-
GOAL: Lose 7 lbs by Christmas trip home (12/22)-
GOAL Weight: 150
Current Weight:154.5
Notes- Lost 2 1/2 lbs!  Was hoping for 3 this week, but 2 1/2, considering I had a christmas party and a football game, is really good.  I'm very happy with that.
EXERCISE:
60m weight training- front body.  Crunches, incline press, lunges w/ weights,  fly press, leg extensions, etc.

Breakfast-
Skim Milk protein shake

Snack-
apple

Lunch-
Lean cuisine spa classic (240 cals)
orange
1 small chocolate chip cookie

Dinner-
special K red berries w/ skim milk
hummus and carrots

Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells

The holidays are upon us.  Tonight is my first holiday party.  Ugh.  What to do.  I want to go, I should go, as it's a good friend of my boyfriend's.  But willpower at a  yummy food holiday party is going to be difficult.  Wish me lots and lots of fortitude and luck.  And a smaller waistline.

Earlier today, I spent the afternoon at a career seminar for a girls' organization.  It was really fun, speaking to young girls about my career, the choices I've made, and the path I've taken.  I'm glad I took the time to do this today.  Hopefully the evening will go as well.

Exercise- 
Walking- not much
Breakfast- 
Raisin Bran w/ 2% milk
Dinner-
2 slices pizza- one hawaiian, one plain
Party-
2 glasses white wine
1 glass hot chocolate w/ whiskey shot
1 mini mince pie
1 brownie
1 truffle
1 cookie
small portion of cheese/pepperoni/bread appetizer
4 olives


ok- not great.... but, I tried one of the desserts I thought looked good, only tried 4 (there were probably 8 there) I kept my alcohol content in check- not the best, but really not terrible!  I'm actually quite happy with my behavior.

Inspiration

I went to see a play this week, (Noel Coward's Hay Fever) and one of the actors in the play was a 99 year old woman.  I didn't get to talk to her afterward, but I will say that she was one of the most spry, active, and young looking 99 year olds I've ever seen.  Apparently, she was on the today show lately, as well as some other shows, because she's soon turning 100. 

It amazes me that at 36, I can't seem to find the time to get anything done, I'm tired most of the time from exercising, and often want to just lay on the couch, and here's a woman at 99 who is out and about, memorizing lines, ad libbing, and really living life.  I need to be more like her.

Exercise:
4.5 treadmill- 2.25 running, balance walking.

Breakfast-
Protein shake with skim milk
Lunch-
Special K red berries w/ skim milk
banana
Snack-
Smartfood popcorn
Dinner-
Chicken and Rice Stew
Broccoli
Small scoop of mango sorbet

Two forward, one back

I left work early yesterday.  My stomach was fluttery, and I wasn't sure I was not going to get sick at work.  Got home and slept and relaxed, but found that keeping a little something in my stomach was better than nothing, so I ate a little worse than I'd have liked, looking for bland foods and such.

Woke up today, and decided that the gym was a good test.  If I went and couldn't make it through an hour at the gym, I definitely wouldn't last at work.  I did make it, and although my stomach is still a little funny, I'm doing ok.  The 12 hours of sleep last night probably helped, and I think I'll probably sleep as much tonight.

Exercise:
50 minutes weight lifting
15 minutes elliptical- level 8 (235 cals burned)

Breakfast-
Protein shake w/ skim milk
Lunch-
Chicken wrap with peppers, onions and provolone
Dinner-
Cheese and crackers, fruit (had an evening meeting, and snacked on the cheese tray and fruit platter in lieu of dinner.  Should have hit the fruit harder than the cheese, but... woulda coulda shoulda.)

Feeling a little under the weather

What does that mean?  Under the weather?  If you're feeling well, are you over the weather?  Or does it mean the weather has gotten the best of you, so you're under it?  I doubt the weather has anything to do with me feeling ill, I'm going to go with all the people on the subway and my office coughing and hacking, rather than taking a sick day.  So am I really under sick people?  that sounds kinda dirty.

Went and saw a fun play last night.  It was Noel Coward's Hay Fever.  Had a tiny glass of wine after, and felt just a little bit guilty.  On top of that, as I'm not feeling well today, I skipped the gym.  But my trade off is going tomorrown AND Friday, and then running outdoors either Sat or Sun (hoping the weather will allow).

Exercise:
--
Breakfast-
Orange juice and a banana
Lunch-
Vegan butternut squash soup
six french fries
Airborne packet in water
Snack-
Ritz Crackers and Hummus
Apple juice cut with water
Dinner-
Chicken Noodle Soup
Two skinny cow ice cream sandwiches

Day 2 of the New

I did pretty good yesterday.  There are tons of treats in my office, leftovers from people's thanksgiving.  But, I find I do much better if I ignore them altogether.  Once i have the taste in my mouth, I'm likely to go overboard, but if I just stay away altogether, I do much better.

I didn't have nearly enough fruits and veggies yesterday, but as I got in from Thanksgiving late on Sunday, i haven't had a chance to grocery shop yet (tonight). Then I'll be a little more on track with the right foods.

I went for a run this morning.  I didn't run very well, as I'm rather sore from yesterday's weight session.  Ran/Walked for the first 1 3/4 miles, but then ran the next mile, and walked the final quarter to cool down.  Not the best session, but better than nothing.

Exercise:
3 mile run/walk by the river

Breakfast-
Protein shake w/ skim milk
Snack-
handful of walnuts (good brainfood!)
Lunch-
Light N Fit vanilla yogurt
1/4" lowfat granola
1 small apple
1 banana
Snack-
Quakers Rice Cakes- 100 calorie pack (I love these simply because they are the largest 100 calorie pack ever!
Dinner-
1 slice cheese pizza
1 slice vegetable pizza
1 very small glass white wine

Reset, restart

So I'd like to pretend that I've been so very good that I haven't needed to write.  I'd like to pretend that I didn't have anything interesting to tell, because I've only eaten carrot sticks.  The reality is that the insanity of my life and job literally have sapped all energy for the past two weeks.

Then came Thanksgiving.  I wasn't terrible, but I wasn't particularly good.  Some of it I blame on the fact that I was staying as a guest in my boyfriend's parents' home.   They prepared meals, so I pretty much ate what they prepared.  But I could have said no to pie, cookies, aimed more for veggies, etc.

But... I'm back on the horse.  I"m not even going to try to chronicle what I ate the past two weeks, I'm just going to say UGH!

I've been to the gym already this morning, had my protein shake, and am starting to think about my day's food decisions.

I also have a new goal.  Rather than big lofty goals, months out, I'm going to start setting small ones.  And in addition to blogging everything that goes in my mouth, I'm going to also log my weight on Mondays. Finally, my one new tweak is that I'm going to record today's food today, not tomorrow.  So, here goes:

GOAL: Lose 7 lbs by Christmas trip home (12/22)-
GOAL Weight: 150
Current Weight:157
Notes- I think this is attainable, I think that part of the 157 is probably a little Thanksgiving pudge, and will hopefully come off quickly when I stop eating Thanksgiving sized meals.

EXERCISE:
60m weight training- front body.  Crunches, bench press, lunges, leg press, etc.

Breakfast-
Skim Milk protein shake

Snack-
Small apple

Lunch-
Fage 2% greek yogurt w/ honey
Babybel light round cheese

Supper-
Bowl of Special K red berries w/ skim milk
1  bag smart pop microwave popcorn 

Football Sunday

I love Sundays in the fall, because I love football.  I love it more when we're winning, but I still love it, even when we don't.  By we, I mean the Minnesota Vikings. They are my team and I stick by them.

Normally, i go to a local bar, which has a pretty strong Viking following.  Funny to think of 30 or 40 Minnesotans (or Iowans, which is my story) sitting together in a bar in New York watching Minnesota football.

I've been really busy for the past couple of weekends, and haven't been able to get to the bar to watch, but yesterday I had an open day.  I was rather proud of myself, though, as I didn't feel like drinking, or taking on those extra calories, so I stayed home and watched here.

Breakfast-
Egg sandwich w/ ham on an english muffin (made my my adorable boyfriend)

Lunch- 
Stouffer's Mac and Cheese w/ broccoli

Snack-
Hummus and carrots


Dinner-
Baked potato w/ smart balance margarine


Exercise-
2 1/2 mile run
1/2 mile cool down walk

Busy weekend!

I was so excited to have a quiet weekend to myself this weekend.  Um... yeah.  Friday night, I worked til 7:30, went to a bday party, and then over to the opening night party of our show.

Saturday started with a run, several hours spent finishing projects I've been putting off forever, then dinner with my boyfriend before attending the show that evening.

Today, my sweet boyfriend made me breakfast, I watched the Vikings game, and then finished a few more things.  And another run.  And suddenly my weekend is over.  How does that happen?

But, being so busy means not too much snacking, which is good.

Friday:
Breakfast-
Special K Red Berries w/ skim milk
Light yogurt w/ granola

Lunch- 
1/2 chicken wrap w/ peppers, onions and provolone
bag of chips

Dinner-
4 beers (probably wrong, but it made me happy at the time)

Snacks- a lot of laffy taffy and dum dums (stress!!!!!)


Exercise- 
Running around the office, lifting stuff, setting up visual displays, etc.

Saturday:
Brunch-
Special K red berries w/ skim milk
yogurt w/ granola-  been getting into this habit of 2nd breakfast.  Need to figure out how to stop that, but I get really hungry about an hour after I eat breakfast.  At least I'm eating healthy things


Snack-
Hummus and baby carrots

Dinner- 
Paula Deen cheesy potatoes (from a box we got as a goody bag gift in Savannah)
steak- shared with the bf- so only two generous slices myself
1 beer


Post show-
2 beers
a few bites of spinach artichoke dip

Exercise-
3 mile run (ok, i didn't run all of it, but walked when I needed, and then ran again)

Can't walk today

I started my day off yesterday with the gym, which was great.  Except... I did weights AND cardio, and today I'm so sore, I feel like I can't move. Probably not so good.

Ate ok yesterday.  I'm still really struggling with the leftover halloween candy bowl, which seems to magically refill.  Somehow, because it's all non-chocolate, and very small, it seems like I'm not doing much harm.  But... 72 laffy taffys is harm!  Yes, that's a little exaggerated, but you get the point.

Today's goal is to avoid that bowl no matter what.  It has the plague, I'm sure I saw someone wipe their nose and then put their hand in there, I think all that candy is tainted.... whatever it takes to keep me away.

I also haven't been doing so well with my water intake.  Bad.  Diet soda and water are not the same thing.  Not by a long shot.


Breakfast-
Protein shake w/ skim milk (215 cals)

Lunch-
1/2 chicken veggie wrap w/ provolone
1 sm bag spicy nacho doritos

Snack-
apple
banana
4 dum dums
2 mini packs nerds
3 pcs laffy taffy


Dinner-
I got real munchy last night-
1 bowl special K red berries and skim milk
hummus and carrots
lowfat yogurt and granola


Exercise-
50m weightlifting
15m elliptical (185 calories)

International Pot Luck

Really, what more is there to say but that.  My supervisor is leaving on sort of a sebbatical.  We had a going away lunch for her today, which was an international pot luck.  I was good and only had a bowl of cereal for breakfast, and really didn't  eat a thing for dinner, but I'm sure lunch more than covered that.


Breakfast-
Special K red berries w/ skim milk

Lunch-
The world- both in variety and quantity

Snack-
a dum dum lollipop
1 mini box of nerds


Dinner-
Nada

Exercise-
Was tempted to lunge all the way back to my desk after my disastrous lunch, but not so much.

I've been a very bad girl

Not entirely my fault, but I've been extremely bad this weekend at logging in.  This is mostly due to the fact that I was visiting friends in Minnesota, staying with said friends, and had extremely limited access to the internet.   I arrived back Monday night, and probably should have logged in then, but.... I didn't. Then yesterday, a million things to do, but it just didn't happen.

I also have been terrible in my eating habits.  I think that the average stranger reading this blog probably thinks I'm not trying at all. I am.  I really am.  But I'm realizing I have a stressful life, and bad willpower, and a lot of temptations.  I HAVE to figure out how to make some changes in my life that will lead to healthier options, more exercise, and a better way of life.  How to do this?  I don't really know, other than to just bull through it, and keep trying.

I'll do my best to track my past few days.  I'm sure I'll miss a LOT.  Assume that any holes are probably filled with something disgusting and fried.

Saturday:
Breakfast-
Bacon Egg and Cheese stromboli at the airport -awesome breakfast options, I should point out, but yes, I did walk right by the yogurt and granola, and the fruit cup.  To my defense, the fruit cup looked like it had been sitting there since yesterday.
Lunch-
Famous Dave's pork sandwich with baked beans, fries, and mac and cheese and a diet coke
Dinner- 
1/2 Jimmy John's club tuna sandwich
Cheetos single serve bag
pickles- One of my hostesses makes these crazy homemade pickles that are seriously like crack.  SOOOOO good.  I literally had 8 pickles (they're small, I swear)
a few small pieces of candy (leftover halloween)
a glass of Dr. Pepper

Exercise-
Schlepping my bag around the airport
Walking all over the Mall of America
15m on elliptical
1.5 miles on the treadmill at 6.0 mph

Sunday:
Breakfast-
French toast- 2 slices
raspberries
orange juice

Lunch-  This was at the Metrodome (we took in the Vikings game), so assume this was all a kajillion calories each
2 beers - proudly, the first was at 10:30 am.  um....
1/2 serving of deep fried cheese curds
1 corn dog
2 slices of a diGiorno pepperoni pizza
a couple handfuls of Kettle Corn

Dinner-
1 cheeseburger
1/2 bratwurst
pickles (couldn't stay away!)
chips
1 glass strawberry soda
1 dilly bar

Exercise-
Walking around Minneapolis and the Metrodome, Cheering for the Vikings (it was a really close game, you gotta burn calories jumping up and down and screaming, right?)


Monday:
Breakfast-
1 long john donut- no filling.  Yeah right, like a plain long john is SOOO much healthier than a cream filled one.  Who am I kidding?
1 banana


Lunch-
Chinese buffet-  really, what more is there to say?
small dish of soft serve swirl

Dinner-
1 bag of airplane peanuts
1 small bag of fritos

Exercise-
Not much.  Schlepping a bag thru the airport, airplane and the subway

Tuesday:
Breakfast-
yogurt w/granola
bowl of special K w/skim milk


Lunch- 
Chicken and mozzarella wrap with lettuce, tomato and salsa
chips

Dinner-
5 meatballs (they're mini- an appetizer type meatball)
2 peanut butter balls

Exercise-
25m walking and running 2 miles on the treadmill
30 minutes on the elliptical at high level

I think it's fairly well accurate.  I really didn't snack much over the past few days, because I've been way too busy. I suppose that's good.  I actually feel that looking back on this, it's not quite as terrible as I thought.  Certainly not promoting weight loss, but maybe not encouraging gain.

Too damn early

I'm off to MInneapolis this weekend.  Not sure about my internet access, so thinking i might miss a post.  Right now it's 5 am, and I'm not happy to be awake.  Feel like I should eat breakfast, because otherwise I'm relegated to airport food, but my stomach doesn't seem to like 5 am any better than I do.  Keeping today's entry short, as my brain is not yet awake. 

Wasn't too bad yesterday, as I hardly had time to eat.  Worked 10 hours, then packed and went to bed  Exciting day, huh?

 Breakfast- 
Greek yogurt w/ honey
Lunch-
Tomato Soup
Snack- (had kind of a big snack because I worked so late, thus a really late dinner)
Goldfish crackers
Vitamin Water Zero
Banana
Dinner-
Two slices of pizza w/ veggies


Exercise-
Nothing formal, but if you run around work all day like a chicken with your head cut off, it seems like that's gotta burn calories.

Could have been so much worse

I woke up yesterday feeling pretty darn good. At 8:00, I was home from the gym and showered.  I had a busy day ahead of me, but was ready to get to it.  I was going to see my handsome boyfriend in the evening.  The cleaning lady was coming (she only comes once a month, so it's kind of a big deal.)

Before she comes, I usually do a little cleanup.  Put stuff away, make sure I haven't left anything embarrasing out, change the kitty litter.  My boy cat, who is a big old bruiser of a cat, always runs right in and uses the brand new clean litter.  I'm not sure if he just likes a clean litter box, or if he is messing with me, and wants to foul it up right after I clean it.  Anyway, i'm still tidying when he comes trotting in to pee.  Then I notice that there is blood in his urine.  Shit.

3 hours later, and $300 poorer, the vet hopes it's a simple inflammation of his urethra, but because of his age, recent weight loss, etc, can't rule out other scary things, like cancer.  For those of you who know me outside of the blogging world, you know I just spent a year dealing with my girl cat's sickness, which they were pretty sure was cancer.  She's totally healthy now, and actually getting kinda fat, but it was a terribly difficult year with her.

Then off to work, where 11,000 new things were loaded onto my plate.  I don't think I mentioned that I am currently filling in for my supervisor, who is out on maternity leave.  When I agreed to this, I knew I'd be doubling my work load.  What I didn't realize is that I'd now have to sit in on all her supervisor level meetings. Which are boring.  And seem to be rather frequent.  And keep me from doing my double work load. Fun.

Now with all of this going on, how is it that I atcually ate WELL yesterday?

Breakfast-
Protein shake made with skim milk
Snack-
Small apple (I bought a bag and they never seem to end!)
Lunch-
greek yogurt w/ honey
a small bag of 'heart healthy mix' nuts
Dinner-
Penne in Vodka sauce w/ broccoli and chicken
1 beer- blue moon (It's got fruit in it, that's healthy, right?)
1 piece of bread

Exercise-
45m weight lifting
15m elliptical- high intensity
2hrs carrying around a 13 lb cat in a carrier (this has to be worth something!)

ugh.

On top of all the other stress in my life (work, the workspace)  I now have a sick pet.  Very short entry today, because I spent 3 hours this am at the vet, had to work late to make up for it, and now am exhausted and want to go to bed.  I'll be better tomorrow, I promise.

Breakfast-
Sausage Egg and Cheese wrap-  bad badness.  even worse, it was from Tim Horton's

Lunch- 
Toxic Hell.   That's really Taco Bell, but I think the first name is more appropriate.  Two soft shell taco supremes.  And a diet coke, as if that did ANYTHING to counteract the gluttony I just piled in my mouth

Dinner-
Chicken fajitas.  and two beers.  And chips and salsa. Really responsible eating


Exercise- 
Walking around a mall all day.  I was shopping for work, and literally walked around the mall for  5 hours.  That's gotta help with something, right?

Stress Bomb

Last night was a BAD night.  Things blew up at the workspace, and I had a giant yelling fight with a friend, and left in tears.  I'm completely burned out on the show, and pretty much done with my part, so I"m begging out of the rest of the season.  That may sound like a cop out, but the whole story is much longer, and convoluted, and I do feel I've done well more than my fair share.

Needless to say, my eating yesterday and today has been less than great.  No formal exercise, but some good activity going both days.  I'm sure stress doesn't help my body in getting healthier, though.
Hopefully now that I've begged off, my stress levels will drop and I can get things back on track.  And back to the gym tomorrow.

Breakfast-
Special K with skim milk
Snack-
small apple
yogurt w/granola
Lunch-
Tuna melt and a half pint of beer.  oh and chips.  Ok, so the yogurt was going to be my lunch and then a friend reminded me she was taking me out as a late bday lunch, so what was I to do?
Dinner-
Lean Cuisine Angelhair pasta in tomato sauce
small chunk of cheddar cheese

Exercise-
Lots and lots of stress
lifting and maneuvering of Audrey II pupet (that thing has to weigh well over 100 lbs.)
Walking around mall (I shopped for work in the morning, did a good amount of walking)

I also realize my posts have been kinda short and sweet, going to try and  develop them a little more going forward.  I'll be better in so many ways, I promise!

Better.... Not good

Will power, will power, wherefore art thou?

I did really good yesterday.  I went to the gym, ran 3 miles, and walked an additional 2, for a whopping calorie total of 600 burned.  Healthy breakfast and lunch, with no snacking during the day, doing really well.  Even did soup for dinner... until....... My adorable boyfriend came in with fried pork dumplings, and was so proud of himself for getting enough to be able to share with me.  How cute is he?  How fat am I?  I only ate two, but still kinda wish I could have found it within me to skip that.  And then went home to eat half of one of the cupcakes I have left from my bday. 

I did manage to send my leftover birthday cake home with him this morning, so at least that isn't staring me in the face every time I open my refrigerator.

Breakfast-
Protein shake- muscle milk light.  it tastes like feet.  Worst brand ever, but my norm was out.
small apple
Lunch-
Lean Cuisine butternut squash ravioli.  They're  a little high in sodium, but as long as you don't hit them too often, they're not too bad.
Snack-
two small cubes of cheese
two tootsie rolls- orange
10 m&m's
Dinner-
Chicken and rice soup
2 fried pork dumplings
1 bite egg roll
1/2 birthday cupcake
2 small pieces chocolate

STRESS with a capital S

Things have gotten more stressful at the workspace.  I cried two times yesterday.  And ate chocolate to make myself feel better.  And dessert.  I'm a bad person.  I don't know why I associate food with making myself feel better.  My mother didn't raise me like that, we didn't get treats when we felt sad or things were tough.  But it's definitely something I do as an adult. Lose your job?  Have some macaroni and cheese.  Boyfriend dump you?  How about a box of donuts.  Unhappy with your weight?  Here's a pound of cheese and crackers.  Yeah, cause that makes sense, especially the last one.   How about, 'Unhappy with your weight? Here's a freakin' apple, now go to the gym.'  How do I rewire my brain to think this way?

Breakfast-
Raisin bagel with cream cheese- to my benefit, I scraped off over a half cup of cream cheese and threw it out, rather than eat the entire thing.  I swear there was more cream cheese than bagel when i got it.
Lunch-
General Tsao's chicken- half order
Egg roll- half order.   Someone once told me that sharing food makes the calories fall out.  Do we think there's any truth to that?
Snack-
here's where the gluttony and stress sets in- as if batter dipped, fried chicken in a spicy sauce isn't already gluttony.  10 or so Hershey's miniatures, assorted flavors.
Dinner-
Frizee and olive salad
Chicken Fried Chicken w/ mashed potatoes and string beans
Key Lime Pie
a pint of Stella

I did then walk most of the length of the Village Halloween parade, which, paired with running allover the workspace all day and the calorie drain of a couple crying jags, I must have burned at least 1000 calories, right?  Ok, realistically, probably more like 250.  Oh well, another day, another donut.

I did then haul my butt up out of bed at 6 to go to the gym, so tomorrow's entry should bode a little better.

Puppet Hell

 (I should probably tell you about the charity organization I work with.  It's a theater group, we put on two shows a year.  I myself am not a performer, I work backstage.  On weekends, and sometimes after work on a weekday, I go to our organization workspace, to work on costumes, sets, etc.  This fall, our show is Little Shop of Horrors, and I've been working like crazy on the puppets.

Yesterday, I didn't do quite so badly, but mostly because I was running around like a chicken with my head cut off, trying to get our puppets into shape.  No formal exercise, but I was at the workspace for 10 hours, so I think that counts, as I was on my feet for most of it.


Breakfast-
Bacon Egg and Cheese (still hung over from my tons of beer and vat o cheese from the previous night)
Gatorade
Lots and Lots and Lots of water
Lunch-
Subway 6" tuna-  I rarely get tuna, as it's about the worst Subway option, but I was really craving it.
Doritos
Sunkist Orange Soda
Dinner-
Baked Penne (I only ate half the serving.  Probably still a  full serving worth's but I tried)
Sauteed Broccoli in olive oil and butter

The really great thing about yesterday is that you'll notice, NO SNACKS.  Snacking is my downfall.  But, when I'm really busy, I get too busy for snacking, and I do better.  I also tend to eat worse things because I'm stressed (baked penne, Subway Tuna).  Somehow I like to think it's not a wash, but it probably is.

Today I'll be back at the workspace, but tomorrow morning I'm starting back to my gym routine.

Giant Vat of Cheese

Yesterday was a bit of a travesty. Did ok at work all day, but went to a party last night and ate and drank my bodyweight. Party was fun, but I couldn't tear myself away from the queso. or the Jello Shots. or the pigs in a blank.

Breakfast-
Pop Tarts
Lunch-
1/2cheeseburger
fries
snack-
small apple
Supper-
Hummus w/ carrots
Party
a kajillion beers.
5 jello shots
a whole plate of cheese
much more party food (I am not repeating because I don't want to, I'm a little grey as to what I ate the whole night.)

Birthday Aftermath

Ugh.  While I had a great birthday, I did realize that I also need to be tracking my drinks, as some of those contain calories.  I also realized that way too many of my friends show their love via baked goods and beer.  Not only did I eat way too many sweets, I have 3 cupcakes in my fridge, a dozen and a half snickerdoodles and half a carrot cake.  Carrot cake counts as a vegetable, right?

Breakfast-
Special K Red Berries and skim milk
Snack-
An entire pack of starburst.
Lunch-
A crazy sandwich with coleslaw, ham, cheese, and thousand island dressing.  Only ate 2/3 of it, because sadly it sounds better than it tasted
A slice of red velvet cake, shared with the coworkers that took me to lunch for my bday. 
Snack-
Small apple
BDAY CAKE!
Dinner-
Mozzarella Sticks
Chicken Fingers
Potato Skins- all shared with a friend.
LOTS OF BEER
Dessert-
A crumbs peanut butter cup cupcake- shared with the boyfriend.

Exercise-
Lifting a glass many times.  Does that count?

Happy Birthday to me!

It's my birthday. I'm starting the day with a lovely bowl of birthday special K. hrm.

Yesterday was better. I'm not sure I'd say good, but better.
Breakfast-
Protein Shake
Snack-
1 small apple
Lunch-
Yogurt w/ granola and apple
Snack-
Baby Carrots
Stupid crap I shouldn't have put in my mouth-
1 Twizzler
1 tootsie pop
Supper-
Subway ham and swiss wrap
1 bag Cool Ranch Doritos
I got home late snack-
3 pcs cheddar cheese.

Exercise-
3 mile run on treadmill
20m on elliptical
running around workspace doing various lifting, painting, etc for 4 hours.

So all in all, it was a better day. The drawback is that I thought about the chocolate sitting across the way pretty much ALL DAY LONG. I'm thinking once I've made healthy snacking more of a habit, that will get better??

I realize today may not be so good, but it's my Birthday, I think I'll give it a pass.

One day until old.

Or older than I currently am. One day until I turn 36, and this morning, none of my jeans would button without making me feel like a sausage in a casing.

I swear I have good intentions. I wake up each morning thinking I'll start eating better today. Today's the day. And then there's a big bowl of candy at work. And cupcakes for someone's birthday. And a cheese platter left over from a meeting. And I have to get to a meeting after work, so I pick up something disgusting and fast food-y for dinner. And then my day is completely shot.

So I have a new strategy. I figure, if I have to write down everything I eat, and all the exercise I do, I'll be more aware of what I'm actually eating. And possibly be so ashamed posting what I've put in my mouth that I'll stop doing it! My goal is to blog every day of my 36th year, and keep track of what I'm eating.

Here goes:
Yesterday, 10/26
Breakfast-
A bowl of special K cereal with skim milk
2nd Breakfast- (there was a bridal shower breakfast at work)
assorted cheeses (brie, soft cheddear, blue cheese) spread on 6 crackers
2 mini cupcakes
1 scoop of fruit salad
Snack- (dear lord, why did I need a snack with that 2nd breakfast???)
1 small apple
Lunch-
light yogurt w/ granola (there, back on the right track
Afternoon snack- (who are you kidding, this should be called- more reason to stuff your face)
hummus w/ baby carrots and cucumber slices
All day nibbling-
assorted mini candybars from the halloween pumpkin- too many to count.
Supper-
Chipotle pork burrito

Exercise-
Volunteer work- was on my feet for about 3 hours. Not really exercise, but better than sitting on my ass for 3 hours watching the biggest loser and eating chocolate. (not that I've EVER done that before... or last week.)

Hmmm.... my thoughts on the above. I can't begin to imagine what the cleaning lady thought when she saw all the wrappers in my trash can. Maybe she looked around to find my cold, dead body, because that much candy probably should have sent me into a diabetic coma.

Additionally, after a terrible day, did I really have to go and eat an entire Chipotle burrito? It's about a day's worth of calories all on it's own.

So again, I'm starting today, which means that tomorrow's entry hopefully will bode better. I went to the gym this morning, so exercise is already better than yesterday. And I'm trying this new thing to deal with the candy around the office. It's called will power. Totally new concept for me.

With that, I'll leave you for the day. See you tomorrow, same fat time, same fat channel.